Hi, I'm Bel
I'm an Aussie working mum, wife and blogger. I am a control freak, I swear too much, crack silly jokes and I have bipolar with an eating disorder on the side.
I am currently un medicated with a still-too-far-away Psychiatrist appointment scheduled to rectify that but have been struggling with my bipolar lately after taking a dose of steroids for a totally unrelated foot problem.
* Important note to you all:
DONT TAKE ANYTHING STEROID BASED IF YOU HAVE BIPOLAR!!!
and another note... Actually tell the doctor you don't usually see that you have bipolar so they don't prescribe them to you...
So, anyway I was hitting the peak of a 4 month hypomanic episode around Christmas time when I took the steroids and it totally fucked me up and threw me off the cliff. I've been "rapid cycling" ever since which if you don't know, is where you have quick cycles between mania and depression (DSM speaking 4 or more episodes over a 12month period.)
For me rapid cycling has been more like every couple of days to a week I switch from numb and suicidal to high as a kite and happy as Larry. I have been also getting a lot of mixed episodes which is kind of like every feeling you have ever experienced mushed together and bursting out of your body. It is hands down the most infuriating intense horrible feeling I have ever had in my life.
Now I am starting to forget what normal feels like and my psychologist looks a little scared about what she's about to see every time I walk into her office. So my emotional life is like a box of chocolates, I am very lucky to have the most understanding amazing husband in the world and a great network of close friends to fall apart at and now I have this blog, partially to vent, partially to keep a record of my crazy and also to share my experiences with some other people out there who might understand me.
I have no medical training, everything I say is just my opinion.
If you are suicidal or anorexic I might be triggering at times, I will try and remember to include trigger warnings but I may forget so it might be better to just not read if you feel it could affect you negatively. Also if you are feeling suicidal, read the "Get Immediate Help" page at the top of the screen, don't roll your eyes at me, read it!!